The Philanderers v Nomads, Sunday 22nd June at Exning Park

In seeking to follow the erudition, eloquence, and sheer innovation of George Dean in the season’s first match report, I sought inspiration from those jostling to become the next Chancellor of Cambridge University; sadly, none (inspiration that is) was forthcoming. I decided, finally, to simply tell it how it was on this, the first game of the season at Exning Park, our spiritual home.

Early season Philanderers’ games have a habit of acting as reunions for those who haven’t seen one another for a while, with handshakes and much camaraderie – all consistent with the club’s culture and wellbeing. The weather was set fair and the ground looked immaculate for this all-day fixture.

Batting first the Phillies eyed up a really good total to set the opposition a stern challenge. Sadly, however, it was the home team that looked challenged, finally struggling to a score of 170 all out. There were exceptions, notably the brothers Karsten – Finn top scored with 72 and Ivan made a useful contribution with 31. Pardess was going nicely before running himself out on 17 but the rest was a tale of woe. Coteman, batting at the dizzy heights of number nine, was left stranded after seeing Rutt, Ed Pearson’s friend Seb, and Rob Karsten (the brothers’ dad) depart without further addition to the score. Seb and Rob had very kindly agreed to step in to play at the last minute and both acquitted themselves well in the field - we are grateful to them both. Nomads bowled well with their off-spinner taking 4-30.

Lunch was taken at 1.30 when the Phillies were 128 for 3, so what happened afterwards had the conspiracy theorists putting the blame squarely on the pizzas. A young man on a bicycle arrived at precisely 1.14 with six pizzas, a part delivery from the fourteen originally ordered, and then set off on his bike once more to pick up the balance. Fortunately, one of his colleagues arrived in a car with the missing vegetarian quantity some minutes later. This gastronomic departure from a conventional cricket lunch of ham salad with new potatoes clearly upset the Phillies’ momentum and it all went downhill from there.

When Nomads set about chasing down the Phillies’ 170 they did so with purpose and, in the case of young Kandampully, with great style. His 50 included a straight on-drive for four off Rutt that would have been sublime at any level of the game. Means was the only bowler to cause Nomads to bat with caution with some aggressive leg-spin. So aggressive was it that he dislocated his non-bowling shoulder, popped it back in, and headed for the dressing room. His 1 for 18 off 6.3 overs was the pick, as they say. The other bowlers (seven of them) huffed and puffed but couldn’t blow the house down as Nomads costed to a seven wicket win in 32 overs.

David Pimblett umpired with his usual aplomb and was rewarded with the last knockings of a splendid (traditional) tea, which he took home to an apparently starving family.

It was an occasion when our revered Führer was sadly missed.

Gerald Coteman

The family Karsten – Finn, Ivan, and Rob

Pizzas were they the real reason for the batting collapse?